This week’s guruMouse potato threat to big cheesesGuru has searched the web to update HR professionals with the latestadditions to the workplace vocabulary. Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline wasmissed or a project failed, and who was responsible. Seagull manager: An interim manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise,craps on everything, and then leaves. Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success andadvancement by kissing up to the boss rather than by working hard. Salmon day: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream onlyto get screwed and die. Mouse potato: The online, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato. Stress puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.Percussive maintenance: The fine art of beating an electronic device with ahard implement to get it to work again. Textbook tips given to publishing reject Guru has suffered his share of rejections in life; universities, jobs, women– he’s been knocked back by them all at some point or other. So he sympathised with the experience of a disciple’s rejection at the handsof the Pearson Group. Mark, a senior HR executive who wishes to remain anonymous, explained:”I recently applied for an HR director position for part of the PearsonGroup, which includes Pearson Education and Penguin Books. “All seemed to go well. My CV was acknowledged, the telephone interviewwas conducted with some competence, and then – lo and behold – a week later, apackage arrives at the house. “Inside said package is a letter of rejection, with the final paragraphstating: ‘I enclose a copy of the Penguin Guide to Employment Rights which youmight find useful’. “Are they indicating that my knowledge of employment law appeared sowoeful that I needed a quick refresher? Or perhaps they are encouraging me toclaim against them as I may have felt that I was discriminated against.” Guru will be making a job application to the Pearson Group to secure his ownfree copy of the Penguin employment rights guide asap. Pigeon work keeps graduate at bottom of the pecking order The challenge for senior HR executives to become business partners and alignpeople management strategies with business needs is a complex and exciting one.However, last week Guru received an e-mail from a self-proclaimed ‘HRgraduate trainee pond-scum’ at a large financial institution, who claimed herjob could be carried out by a bird brain. The young lady – who wished to remain anonymous – explained her excitingrole at a forthcoming HR conference: “I will be sitting in the control/projecting box, and when one of the big-cheese presenters presses a button tomake a light come on, I will forward their presentation by one slide. “It is amazing there won’t be remote control at a state-of-the-art HRconference in a world- leading business. And I wonder why we can’t use atrained pigeon for the slide-moving. “I realise that the CEO’s wrath will come down on me if I neglect topress a button at the right time. It is one of those truly challenging andrewarding development opportunities that will result in no reward when I do itright, and much public embarrassment if I don’t. “When pigeons peck a button in response to a light (and they are goodat that) they tend to get a food pellet. I hope there will be a similararrangement for me.” Guru would like to reassure this junior disciple that in the grand scheme ofthings, all of us (even HR directors) are simple pigeons hoping for a foodpellet a day before we die all alone in the gutter. Comments are closed. Previous Article Next Article Mouse potato threat to big cheesesOn 13 May 2003 in Personnel Today Related posts:No related photos.